Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
