Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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