4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize