You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
This is not my ceiling
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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