Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize