Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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