i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
