Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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