She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
