Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
