I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
that is very illegal...i love you.
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