I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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