why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
