What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize