i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
