Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
