im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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