I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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