i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
