he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
