he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
