why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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