I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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