it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
