YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
