I got chris browned last night
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
