I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
