so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
