my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
