yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it's not cheating when I paid for it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
