summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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