It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
His nipple licking is glorious
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