I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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