haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
