He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
