i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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