I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
