you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize