i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
