Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
is it fun? or sober?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
