you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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