gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
