The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
