I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
