i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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