i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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