AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
