Me. At least after what I've been through.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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