the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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