just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize