My first STD was from a foam party
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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