Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
