how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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