"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize