Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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