you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
