i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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