if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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