plz talk dirty to me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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