I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
