I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
