I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
