the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
